


A Shipping Meme!

by DangerousCommieSubversive



Series: Prompt Collections from Tumblr [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Birds of Prey (Comic), Cable and Deadpool, Daredevil (Comics), Dark Avengers (Comic), Punisher (Comics), Superman (Comics), Teen Titans, Young Avengers
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M, Meme, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-10
Updated: 2014-03-10
Packaged: 2018-01-15 07:08:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 5,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1295974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DangerousCommieSubversive/pseuds/DangerousCommieSubversive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another series of meme-based ficlets, based on <a href="http://dangerouscommiesubversive.tumblr.com/post/62263603209/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-write-you-a-thing">this meme</a> (which I wrote up myself). Lots of fandoms, lots of ships, lots of fun! Enjoy!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Secret Six

**Author's Note:**

> The original text of the meme:
> 
> "Send me a ship and a number and I’ll write you a thing
> 
>   1. Holding hands
>   2. Kissing
>   3. Licking
>   4. Biting
>   5. Fighting
>   6. Listening to music
>   7. Trying to agree on a movie or TV show to watch
>   8. Watching fireworks
>   9. Celebrating a holiday (specify a holiday if you like)
>   10. Waking up in the morning
>   11. Meeting the parents
>   12. Doing something cute together
>   13. Playing a game
>   14. Sleeping
>   15. In an AU setting (you can specify one or leave it to me)
>   16. Getting dressed up
>   17. All tied up ^_~
>   18. Out on a date
>   19. Dancing
>   20. An unpleasant surprise
>   21. Stuck in a closet
>   22. Truth or dare
>   23. At the beach
>   24. In mortal peril
>   25. Doing something NSFW"
> 


**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rebeccamartin2 replied to your post: Send me a ship and a numb…
> 
> Secret Six #7 :)

“I wanna watch  _Jaws._ ”

“Nanaue, for the last time, we’re not watching  _Jaws._ ”

“Why  _not?_ ”

Scandal sighs. “Because Black Alice is visiting and  _Jaws_  frightens her.”

King Shark droops, just a little bit. “Ok.”

“ _I_  think we should watch  _Gladiator,_  poppet.” Knockout enters the living room carrying what appears to be a twenty-gallon drum of popcorn on one hip, a large jug of cider in the other hand. “I’m in the mood for a comedy.”

“Seconded.” That’s from Thomas, who’s already curled up on one end of one of the couches with a jar of homemade beef jerky.

Floyd is sitting next to him, and steals a piece of jerky every couple of minutes. “I dunno, I’m not really feeling  _Gladiator._  Could do  _Desperado,_ though. Or  _The Magnificent Seven._ ”

 _“I’d suggest a movie from_ my _collection, but I don’t think anyone would be very enthusiastic.”_

“Got that right, ‘Doll. I’ve  _seen_  your movie collection.”

_“The monkeys like it.”_

“They’re  _monkeys,_  ‘Doll, they’ll watch anything.”

 _“Not_ anything. _They weren’t very enthusiastic about_ Eraserhead. _”_

Bane’s in next, not eating anything. He settles into an armchair off to one side. “I am told that we will be watching something.”

“Soon as we can figure out what.”

“Can we watch  _Sharknado?_ ”

“No, Nanaue.” Scandal finally gets to the couch, ducking into the circle of Knockout’s arm, and pulls Liana down to sit on her other side when the other woman comes into the room. “Any suggestions, Bane?”

He shrugs massively. “All of this is a mystery to me. Watch what you like, I will remain regardless.”

_“Ghost Shark!”_

“ _No,_  Nanaue.”

“Is it time for the evening’s argument already?” Jeannette sweeps in like a queen, Lori trailing on her heels, and sits down on Floyd’s other side.

The younger woman is smiling sort of awkwardly, and the state of her hair suggests that Jeannette was trying to give her some kind of impromptu makeover not moments ago. It hasn’t quite succeeded, but she looks pretty anyway, and everyone waves as she comes in, their expressions suddenly softer. She tucks herself into an armchair and says, “So what are we watching?”

 _“We’re not sure.”_  Ragdoll perches on the back of her chair, the bandages around his head shifting in a way that suggests that he’s smiling.  _“Nobody seems to be able to agree on anything.”_

She snorts. “Oh, please.”

Everyone’s gazes slowly move to her, and Knockout says, “Please what?”

“You  _know_  we’re all just going to end up watching  _Lilo and Stitch_  and crying at weird parts. Like we  _always_  do.”

And everyone starts to protest, but Thomas is the first one to say, “…yeah, I guess that’s true.”

“Because ohana means family, and family means watching Disney movies and getting drunk and talking about how it’s a miracle that we’re all still alive.”

Jeannette raises an eyebrow. “ _You_  are not old enough to drink, my dear.”

“Hey, I know!  _Megashark!_ ”


	2. Tommy Shepherd/Kate Bishop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ardatli asked:  
> my internet flickered and I have no idea if my ask went through or not. So in case it didn't, Kate/someone, 21! My preference would be Tommy/Kate, but I'd be equally as thrilled with Eli/Kate or America/Kate.

Kate crosses her arms over her chest and says, “ _Why_  are we in a closet, Tommy Shepherd?”

He grins at her. “Seven Minutes in Heaven?”

“I’m pretty sure we’re not at a sleepover.”

“Honestly the way this team works pretty much _everything_  feels like a sleepover. We should start doing makeovers.”

She ignores that. “Why are we in a  _closet_ , Tommy Shepherd?”

“Because the tragic state of modern American culture makes us afraid to reveal our true identities to the public?”

That one almost gets her, but then it’s back to, “ _Tommy._  Why are we stuck in the closet?”

He sighs. “…because I got startled when you reached over my shoulder and blew up part of the locking mechanism and now the door’s stuck.”

“That’s right. And you’d better watch your hands until someone comes to get us out.”

“But if I’m watching my hands I can’t look at your face.”

The corner of her mouth twitches. “Smartass.”

“You love it.”

“I’m going to murder you so hard you die.”

“That’s a little less classy then you normally go for.”

“Well, I’m stuck in a closet with no air conditioning in the middle of July. You’ll have to cut me some slack. Can’t you just blow up the door?”

“Not really. Too close-quarters. You could get hurt.” At her look he rolls his eyes and then leans across her to hammer on the door. “Hey! Hey, Billy or somebody! Come get us out of here!”

There’s no answer.

He reaches over again but is stopped by Kate’s hand on his wrist. He frowns. “What?”

She’s looking at him speculatively.

It’s a good look.

It could be an exciting look.

In fact, he’s excited.

He says, “Something you wanted?”

“Well, before we go shouting and yelling, maybe we should wait to see if someone notices we’re missing.”

He nods, agonizingly slowly. “Ok. Ok, we can do that. How long do we give them?”

“Let’s say…”

“…yeah?”

She grins. It’s  _definitely_  an exciting grin. “Let’s give ‘em seven minutes.”


	3. Jonathan Kent/Martha Kent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meri47 asked:  
> Jonathan & Martha Kent, #12!

“Do you think he’ll be all right?” Jonathan says, because he’s not worried about their son, no, he’s sure the first day of school will go fine, but he’s…concerned. He’s concerned, that’s all.

Martha smiles at her husband, and runs her fingers through his hair. “Clark’s going to be fine, Jon. You’ll see. And won’t it be nice to have some time  _alone_  again?”

“I suppose it will be.” He stands, winces at the crackle in his back, and then suddenly smiles. “It’s been a long time since we’ve gotten any alone time, hasn’t it?”

“Almost no time at all, since we found Clark.

“You remember our first date?”

She laughs. “Yes! You picked me up at five…”

“…we dodged your father…”

“…you took me to dinner…”

“…and then we went dancing.” Jonathan sweeps Martha up in his arms, swinging her around the kitchen and singing in a cracking voice,  _“Baby, oo-ooh baby, my sweet baby…”_

She laughs delightedly as they dance around the kitchen table.

He starts to laugh too, barely able to get out, “Oh, Sylvia!”

She giggles. “Yes, Mickey?”

“How do you call your loverboy?”

“Oh, don’t!” She’s already laughing too hard to talk. “I can’t do the whole thing, I don’t remember all of it.”

“But I  _did_  get you home before ten.”

“Yes, you did.” And suddenly she snickers. “Not that I would have  _minded_  getting home later.”

He straightens up. “Why, Mrs. Kent, are you implying something?”

“I could be,” she says, eyes sparkling. “I could be. We  _do_  have the whole day to ourselves now.”

They start dancing again, and he dips her and then says, “Ah. Or maybe we don’t have the whole day.

“Oh,  _why_  not?”

“Clark forgot his lunch.”


	4. Savant/Creote

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shaded-mazoku asked:  
> Savant/Creote, #13 :D

The game starts with, “Dracula.”

Sasha frowns as they race through Gotham Park. “Why Dracula?”

“I don’t know, I’ve been meaning to reread the book, that’s all. I’m very fond of it.” Brian’s trying out a new costume; it’s the third one he’s made in as many weeks, all in the name of finding an effective brand. “So. Dracula.”

“I see.” Sasha ponders it for a moment as they jog. “In that case, Frankenstein.”

“Explain.”

“Universal movie monsters.”

“Right, yes.”

“Also a film I quite like.”

They hear a scream—mugging in progress—and divert, and as they descend on the muggers Brian responds with, “ _The Left Hand of Darkness._ ”

“I don’t see it.” Sasha’s already zip-tying one mugger’s hands together.

Brian deals with the other one and hands the startled college student who was  _being_  mugged back his wallet. “Pioneering speculative fiction by women.”

“Ah. True.  _Trouble on Triton._ ”

“Speculative fiction which explores concepts of sexuality and gender?”

“Precisely.”

One of the muggers says to the other, “What the hell are they  _talking_  about?”

They keep it up for another four hours, but as they’re pausing to go get dinner at a convenient diner Brian says, “String theory,” and Sasha…says nothing. Brian grins at him. “Hah! Did I just win this round?”

Sasha shifts and then says, “I can think of nothing suitably entertaining.”

“I win this round, then.”

“We  _were_  playing the simple version.”

“That doesn’t mean I didn’t win.”

The waitress, an aging beauty whose nametag says ‘Val,’ smiles at them. “It’s nice to see young people enjoying themselves. What can I get you two?”

Brian stares at the menu he’s been handed for a moment and then points to the breakfast page and says, “All of this, please.”

She blinks. “ _All_  of that?”

Sasha nods. “All of it.”


	5. Frank Castle/Matt Murdock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> canam77 asked:  
> Punisher/Daredevil - 21

Frank rolls his neck. “This is your fault.”

“Probably true. Not really relevant, but true.” Matt shifts awkwardly, feeling the closet door through the leather over his shoulders, listening for footsteps, for the clunk that would indicate that the chair stuck under the doorknob on the other side has fallen over, for passing mice, for _anything_  really. Because this? This is a difficult situation. “So what brings you to my part of town?”

“Business.”

“Right, of course, what else.”

“Your club is poking me in the stomach.”

“Sorry.” Matt shifts again, getting his billy club out of the way. Then he tries to turn around so he can work on the doorknob, which is tough in and of itself—this closet’s a tight fit to begin with, just for  _him,_  and the Punisher’s  _not_  a small man. He just manages it, but it’s not comfortable, and getting at the door properly is  _very_  difficult. “Care to elaborate?”

“I was going to see a lawyer.”

 _“Ah._  Which lawyer? Anyone I’d know?”

“One who definitely isn’t you.”

“Right. Because I’m  _not_  Matt Murdock.”

“You aren’t, no.” And if they were in a different situation—and if Frank was a different guy—maybe they’d laugh now.

“I’m guessing you needed to talk about something? With this lawyer. Who isn’t me.”

“There were some things we needed to discuss, yes.”

“One of your guns is poking me in the spine.”

“I don’t see how, all of my guns are on my back at the moment.”

Matt coughs. “ _Ah._  Well. That puts an  _entirely_ different complexion on this situation, doesn’t it.”


	6. Bart Allen/Merlin Baker (Multiverse)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked:  
> Could you do a Bart Allen & Merlin Baker slash with #2 or #22 (or both) :)

_(I did get both your asks, hon, and did this one because I was already half done with it. ^^)_

When Uncle Bobby lived there, the guest house was pretty small—just the one story, only two bedrooms and one bathroom, sized to house not too many guests. But that was  _years_  ago, before Merlin was even  _born._   _Now_  it’s the unofficial Interdimensional Travel Headquarters of the “Young Titans,” which is what they’re still calling themselves because they haven’t really thought of any better name for the mega-team.

Today’s mission took them through at  _least_  five different dimensions and they had to fight someone who  _might_  have been an alternate Doctor Doom and was  _definitely_  a pain in the ass, so they’re all pretty wiped out. And they’ve already gone through at  _least_  fifteen pizzas, and Merlin had to go up to the main house for more soda.

When he comes back he’s toting a 24-pack of soda in one hand and a fragrant bucket in the other. Tommy perks up. “Is that garlic popcorn?”

“Yep!” He grins. “Mom and Mom say if we want more just ask, but they want more people to come up and say hi. I think they’re bored.”

“Your moms are  _awesome._ ”

As the sodas are going around, Stephanie says, “We should do something.”

“We could put on a movie.” Kate’s slouched against her friend’s shoulder, still working on a slice of mushroom and bacon pizza. “Or play a game.”

Everyone looks pleased at that, and Teddy says, slowly, “Let’s be lame and play truth or dare.”

Obviously this is the correct choice.

Stephanie starts with, “Merlin.”

Merlin turns bright red, which isn’t really any different from what he usually does. “Yes?”

“Truth or dare.”

“Uh…” He gulps.

Everyone’s watching him.

“…dare?”

“That’s the spirit!” She ponders for a moment and then says, “Kiss someone in the room.”

He turns redder. “Um. Ok. Who, though?”

Hands go up, and it takes another split second of consideration. “Bart.”

“Wh-why Bart?”

“He seems like he could use some kissing.” She grins at him. “Go get ‘em, tiger.”

Merlin stares across the living room at Bart.

Billy leans over and stage-whispers to Tim, “Ten bucks says he doesn’t do it.”

Tim raises an eyebrow and says, “You’re on. Twenty says he does.”

 _“Hey.”_  Merlin swallows hard. “I’m. I’m gonna do it. Just you…watch me.”

Bart waves at him. “Come on, comeoncomeoncomeonplant’em nobody’s kissed me in  _aaaaages._ ”

As everyone watches, Merlin sets his soda down, knee-walks awkwardly across the room until he’s right in front of Bart, and—freezes. Bart winks at him.

Billy grins. “All right, pay up—”

Merlin doesn’t quite lean, he sort of  _precipitates_ forward and presses his mouth against Bart’s. His eyes are still wide open at first, but then after a moment they flutter shut. Bart reaches up and grabs the front of his shirt to keep him from falling over.

Everyone cheers. Billy digs a twenty out of his pocket and passes it to Tim, who tucks it quietly into one of his sleeves.

After a moment, though, Kon coughs and says, “Guys? You can stop now.”

They don’t stop.

“Guys. Seriously. Either give it a rest or go upstairs.”


	7. Jason Todd/Tim Drake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zethsaire asked:  
> Jay/Tim starting with #5 and ending with #2. Which explains all of Jason's relationships, really. And if you're up to it - Roy/Dick for number 17 because - Nightwing. Really.

They start out fighting.

Well, ok, they start out  _sparring,_  but any sparring match with Tim and Jason is automatically pretty brutal. At least they’re in a practice space, not out on the street, so when Tim sweeps Jason’s legs out from under him he goes crashing down to a mat, not to pavement.

It takes Jason a moment to get up all the same, and Tim starts to get worried. “Jay? Are you all right?”

Jason doesn’t answer.

“Here, get up—” He holds out his hand.

And goes flying across the room.

“That was stupid,” he says as he picks himself up. “I shouldn’t have fallen for that.”

“Nah. That wasn’t stupid, baby bird. That was _dumb._ ”

He’d forgotten how  _fast_  Jason can move.

He rolls out of the way as Jason dives at him, rolls back, dodges Jason’s attempt at a grapple and kicks at his ankle. The kick connects and Jason swears, then grapples again— _successfully,_  this time. Tim says something  _very_  rude and struggles to get free, but Jason’s a lot bigger than he is, and honestly a lot stronger, and it doesn’t go too well.

He’s pinned. Jason counts to five and then says, “Gotcha.”

Tim makes a face as he’s getting up. “I’m  _very_  off today.”

“Don’t worry about it, baby bird, I think it’s  _cute_ when you totally suck.”

“Oh, shut up.”

“Aww. Wanna do a second round? See if you can actually kick my ass this time?”

Tim thinks about it. “Sure. It starts now.”

He pounces, as if to go for a grapple himself, grabs Jason’s collar, and kisses him, hard.

When he pulls away Jason blinks at him, dazed, and says, “That’s…that’s cheating.”

“No such thing as cheating in a real fight.” Tim brushes himself off. “Want me to do it again?”

“…yeah. Yeah, ok.”


	8. Roy Harper/Dick Grayson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Zethsaire also asked for RoyDick, 17 (all tied up)"

“This…this is actually the meanest thing you’ve ever done to me.”

Roy grins and runs a finger up Dick’s spine. “I don’t think it counts as doing a mean thing if you  _asked_  me to do it. Besides, when am I ever mean?”

Dick shivers. “ _Shit,_  that’s cold. Ok so yes, I  _did_  ask you to—”

“Really politely, even!”

“I  _do_  try to be polite. But…”

Roy tips his hat up, a little mockingly. “But what?”

“I thought then we’d be, I don’t know…” Dick twists against his bonds. “ _Doing_  something.”

And his friend’s breath is suddenly hot against his ear. “Who says we won’t be?”

Dick shivers.

“I just like to start slow.”


	9. Loki/Discord (Multiverse)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zethsaire asked:  
> Simon and Loki - either #4 or #19!! I can't decide. :3

Loki doesn’t look up from his book at first. This is in and of itself impressive; in younger days he would have been on his feet with a knife in hand at the mere hint of someone moving about behind him. It is a testament to how accustomed he’s become to Bobby’s presence that the other man does not register as a threat.

He  _does_  take notice when his chair creaks, and then arms slide around him and he feels the soft pinch of  _teeth_  on his collarbone.  _That_  gets him to put his book down. “ _Yes,_  beloved?”

Bobby bites him again.

“Was there something you  _wanted?_ ”

He feels lips curve against his neck. “Nothing, really. I’m just bored.”

“So you’re  _biting_  me.”

“I was in a biting mood.”

“Your hair is getting in my face.” As if to punctuate, he brushes several strands of blue-green-purple hair away from his eyes.

Bobby shrugs against his back. “I could cut it, if you like.”

“No, don’t. It’s pleasing.” He reaches up and back, running his fingers through Bobby’s hair, and then tightens his grip. “It gives me something to grab.”

Soft laughter. And Bobby bites him again.

It’s very easy to sweep everything off the dining room table with one arm.

Ten minutes later they don’t hear the front door of the house open. And five minutes after that Billy wanders in and says, “Hey, so I went to the library to oh my  _god_  excuse me excuse me I’m sorry I’ll go now.”


	10. Cable/Deadpool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous asked:  
> Cablepool, 17

“I’m kinda feeling like I should be in a Japanese school uniform there. This is very H manga.” Wade struggles against the thin cords holding him down, though not with any real energy. “Get a little necktie, the jacket, the pleated skirt…I could rock the pleat, right?”

No answer.

“Nate? Pleated skirts? Opinions, seriously, don’t leave me hanging here.”

Still no answer.

“Oh, right. You’re in the other room. Probably ignoring me. Like always. Go ahead, I don’t mind.”

There’s a faint rustling sound, and then from a point above his head Nate’s pleasantly deep voice says, “Wade, I…I don’t even know where to start.”

He tilts his head up so he can meet Nate’s eyes. “You  _could_  start by telling me whether you think I’d look good in a pleated skirt.”

“Why are you in my bedroom?”

“Narrative convenience.”

“How did you get tied up?”

“There might have been an accident.”

“I…see.” But despite his dubious tone Nate’s eyes are  _gleaming._  Well, more than usual, that is. Gleaming  _more._  And it’s not a  _suspicious_  gleam, it’s some  _other_  kind of…

Oh.

Oh, good!

Wade grins and waggles his eyebrows. “So. Come here often?”


	11. Bullseye/Matt Murdock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peoplearefriendsnotfood asked:  
> Bullseye/Daredevil #1 :)

His laugh is a hollow and cracking thing, and his grip on Matt’s hand is tight. And it is raining, bouncing off rooftops and thundering down onto the street, so Matt can half-know how he’s grinning as he says, “Nice catch.”

“Climb up,” Matt says. “I can’t hold onto to you like this for very long.”

Bullseye doesn’t climb up. He just laughs again. “Why  _bother?_ ” He sounds pleased. “You could just drop me, and then  _all_  your troubles’d be over.”

“Climb  _up,_  before you  _fall._  You can’t survive a drop from this height.”

“I should let you drop me. Bet it’d make your day.”

 _“Please.”_  Matt’s arm is getting tired, his fingers are going to lose their grip soon. He can feel the calluses on Bullseye’s fingers through his gloves. “Climb up.”

He hears Bullseye look up at him, still laughing his cracking laugh.

And pulls him up.


	12. Kate Bishop/America Chavez

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tedaltmans asked:  
> #16 (getting dressed up) with AmeriKate? Ship would be awesome but just as friends would be excellent, too!

“Honestly, bubblegum, do you own anything that _isn’t_  stars and stripes?”

America shifts, uncharacteristically awkward, and scratches at the back of her head. “Not really. I don’t have a ton of clothes. Why does it matter?”

Kate sighs theatrically as she flips through America’s closet, her purple evening gown shimmering in the light from the window. “ _Because._  My sister’s making me go to this thing, you’re going  _with_  me, and we need to look—wait. Is that a  _tuxedo?_ ”

“Uh…yeah? You’ve seen it before.”

“I’d  _forgotten_  you had a tuxedo.” She holds out the hanger. “Put the tux on.”

America shrugs off her red and blue jacket and her stars-and-stripes button-down, wiggles out of her jeans, and dresses—quickly, so that there’s no chance to get too distracted. Kate’s watching her, though, and that makes her twitchy, so she ends up with her fingers tangled in her bowtie, scowling down at what  _should_  have been a perfect knot.

Laughing, Kate unwraps the bowtie from her hands and ties it, then uses her grip on America’s collar to pull her in for a kiss. “You look _ridiculously_  hot. You’re probably the hottest person on the  _planet._  At  _least_  on the planet. Maybe more planets. Possibly the hottest person in multiple dimensions.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself,  _querida._ ” America slides an arm around her girlfriend’s waist, grabs the hand that isn’t holding her collar, and dips her, to the wonderful sound of Kate’s laughter. “We’ll knock ‘em dead.”


	13. Billy/Teddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "After a break for gaming and cuddles—Ducttapefae asked for BillyTeddy, #23 (at the beach)"

It must be magic, is what Teddy thinks.

It  _has_  to be magic, he thinks again, watching Billy running in the surf. The way he glows. The way he tans instead of burning, just goes gold without any initial pass through red. The way the sun bounces off his wet hair—which is completely out of control, just like it was when they first met, you don’t put in gel to go to the beach. Not that he doesn’t  _like_  the hair gel, it’s nice that Billy’s figured out a way to deal with the constant static that crackles under his skin, but there’s just something about damp tendrils framing his face that makes Teddy want to grab him and kiss the salt water off his lips.

Teddy, of course, doesn’t tan. Or rather, well, he could  _be_  tan. But he can’t _get_  tan. “One of those pale beauties,” his mother used to say, when she was feeling whimsical and he was feeling down, and she’d tap him on the nose with one manicured finger. “You don’t need the sun to make you shine, little bear. You glow on the inside.”

And he hadn’t understood.

So now he sits on the sand as Billy rockets towards him—and loses his footing, toppling into Teddy’s lap.

“Oh my  _god,_  babe.” Teddy keels over on him, laughing. “You’re such a _dork._ ”

“I’m a loveable dork.” Billy grins up at him. “You love my dorkiness.”

“I love your  _you-_ ness. You dork.”

He leans down and kisses the salt water off Billy’s lips, and inside his chest he feels like he’s glowing.


	14. Frank Castle/Bullseye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> madhatt asked:  
> Can I request Punisher/Bullseye #13? Pretty please? *3*

They’ve been playing hide and seek for three days.

Over rooftops, under the street, through buildings and into tunnels and on bridges. Lester can lose sight of Frank for two hours and then find him again, unexpectedly, coming out of some doorway that Lester hadn’t even seen. It’s  _masterful._  Lester could keep this up for  _weeks_  more, just watching the man work, enjoying the  _skill,_  the  _precision,_ getting to know  _every_  move Frank Castle can make, every trick he knows. He could just  _bask_  in it.

And now they’ve hit a slow time.

In fact, it’s time for lunch.

Frank’s sitting on a Dumpster in an alleyway. He went to a deli, so now he’s got a foot-long sub, which he eats with slow, careful bites. There’s no indication that he’s really  _tasting_  it, but he’s not wolfing it down. And Lester’s lying on his stomach on a rooftop across the street, watching him through the scope of his rifle. Keep a close eye on him. Learn every gesture.

He finishes the sandwich, brushes the crumbs off his gloves, and downs half of his Gatorade in one long pull. Then he pulls open his bag of chips—a big bag, not one of those pussy single-serving ones—and starts eating those, slowly again, one chip at a time.

Lester’s riveted.

And then…

Frank does something that doesn’t make sense.

He pulls out a chip, pauses for a moment, and then tosses it into the air.

Lester’s so engrossed in his observations that he moves without thinking, just a little movement, his finger squeezing the trigger of his rifle. There’s the muffled  _pow_  of the silencer, and then after a second a very faint  _paff_  as the potato chip explodes into crumbs.

Frank  _laughs._

Or, well, he doesn’t laugh. Not a real laugh. But he  _chuckles,_  his mouth twitches a little bit.

He throws another chip into the air.

Lester shoots it.

A third one.

Another perfect shot.

Toss.

_Paff._

Toss.

_Paff._

Toss.

_Paff._

He’s  _playing._

They go through half the bag that way.


	15. Johnny Storm/Daken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buckypls asked:  
> I went to bed before you posted that meme last night, so I don't suppose you'd still accept requests? If so, Johnny/Daken, 20 or 5. And congratulations on getting married, by the way! I forgot to send a message the other day. ^^

Their contact is like a flame in the air-conditioned room. This is to be expected; Johnny is always warm, the result of being fire at the core, and Daken runs hot always, which Reed suspects is something to do with his healing factor. Wolverine’s temperature is high too, although this isn’t anything Reed’s mentioned to  _Daken,_  of course.

But yes. Heat.

Some of it’s also the situation, of course.

Mouth on collarbone: hot.

Breath on skin: hot.

Hand under shirt and sliding down a fine trail of hair to the waistband of undoubtedly-expensive designer jeans:  _very_  hot. In more ways than one.

This is going to a place that Johnny hasn’t been before, but he’s pretty sure he likes it.

Daken’s on top of him, and it’s about to get  _really_ interesting—definitely  _extremely_  hot—when Johnny realizes that he didn’t quite close the door all the way, and just as he realizes that, Franklin says, “Uncle Johnny, I thought you only kissed _girls._ ”

Both of the men on the bed freeze.

Johnny turns his head, very slowly, and says, “Uncle Johnny’s trying some new things, Franklin. In private. Now shut the door and go have a snack or something.”

Too late. Franklin turns and says to the small figure behind him, “Hey, Val, Uncle Johnny’s kissing  _Daken._ ”

Valeria stares at them solemnly for a moment before saying—to Johnny, it’s very obviously  _to Johnny_ —“I don’t think you should trust him. He displays at  _least_  thirty-seven of the characteristic behaviors of a serial killer.”

Daken makes a huffing noise that’s part irritation and part amusement but mostly sounds like  _pure sexual frustration_. “I think you of all people should know that correlation doesn’t equal causation.”

“And, uh, you shouldn’t say that kind of thing about guests. It’s not polite.”

“ _Is_  Daken a guest?” Valeria tilts her head to the side, frowning curiously. “What are the criteria for determining guesthood? Is anyone who comes into the tower a guest? Or is it just when you have your hand in their pants?”

Johnny looks up at Daken helplessly, and Daken rolls his eyes. “ _That_  is a frustrating question.”

“Is Uncle Viktor ever a guest?”

 _“No.”_  That, at least, Johnny can be sure of. “Viktor von Doom is  _not_  a guest.  _Ever._ ”

Daken sighs. “Look, why don’t you two go have a snack and leave us alone?”

Valeria crosses her arms over her chest, and Franklin says, “But I’m not  _hungry._ ”

“Valeria. Franklin. Go get a snack.” He speaks slowly. Patiently. “Your uncle and I are having an important discussion.”

Franklin wrinkles his nose. “About  _pants?_ ”

This time  _Valeria_  sighs, reaching over to take her brother’s hand. “Franklin, at least fifty percent of Uncle Johnny’s important discussions are about his pants. That’s what Uncle Ben says. Let’s go play Galactus Is Coming.”

They shut the door behind them.

Johnny stares at the closed door. “I feel like I should be offended somehow.”

“Probably.” Daken’s breath on his ear is hot. “But I think I can distract you.”


	16. Norman Osborn/Venom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meri47 asked:  
> Norman Osborn/Venom Symbiote/Obsessing over Spider-Man, #20!

It’s not the way that things are always done, but when you need someone to talk to, when you need company that  _gets_  it, there are certain bars you can go to. Quiet, out-of-the-way places, where nobody will remark on your unusual outfit or your choice of drink. Where people will understand your woes.

The symbiote is, for lack of a better term, bored. Or perhaps it is  _lonely._  It has not found a new host of any worth or real use yet, and instead is piggy-backed onto what it thinks of as a  _very_ lucky passer-by. And the carrier wanted a drink, so they’re  _getting_  a drink, at a place that the symbiote remembers from the time when it rode Mac. It is unhappy like this. This is not the mode in which it prefers to live.

It misses its favorite host.

It sees someone it recognizes—someone the host recognizes too, there is a twitch of surprise.

It sits down at the bar.

Next to it, Norman Osborn stares into his drink and says, “Hello, Venom.”

It cocks its head to one side curiously. Gestures to the bartender for a drink.

“Who’s in there? Couldn’t be Gargan. Brock? Thompson again?”

Speaking in its own voice, in as much as it has one separate from its host, is difficult but doable. It whispers,  _“No one.”_

“What brings you here?”

_“Ssssspider-man.”_

Osborn is tracing out a logo on his coaster with what looks like a very expensive pen. “Yes. Isn’t it always.”

They sit side by side, drinking in silence.

Until there is a commotion outside.

And they both raise their heads at the cry of, “Look! It’s Spider-man!”


	17. Perry White/Daily Planet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> meri47 asked:  
> Perry White/Daily Planet, #10.

Of  _course_  he knows about the rumor that he sleeps there.

Who do you think  _started_  it?

Truth is, Perry just likes to get up early, and he moves quietly, so even if you’ve been there all _night_  working on a story, you still won’t notice him coming in. He likes to check things over, make sure the whole Planet’s in working order.

Other people get in early, too. Kent. Lane. But not as early as Perry does. He paces the halls, he wanders through the bullpen, he gets himself a coffee and just walks, smelling paper in the air.

It’s a good smell.

It gets him fortified for what inevitably comes afterward, as the building fills up with people and Lane catches him in his office and says, “I have a lead.”

And he says, “Keep your ass outta the fire, Lane.”

She winks and says, “It’s a good lead. I’d bet my Pulitzer on it.”

“Don’t quote  _The Hudsucker Proxy_  at  _me,_  Lane.” He grins.

“Sure thing, chief.”

“And  _don’t call me chief._ ”

Sometimes dealing with the staff of the Planet is hard work.

It’s good to start quiet.


	18. Bart Allen/Merlin Baker (Multiverse) (again ^_^)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> geoboy-world asked:  
> I hope you don't mind, but would you do another Bart/Merlin ship with Bart crushing on Merlin (they make a cute couple). Not sure what setting though.

Merlin’s  _laughing_  at him. “You don’t know how to dance?”

Bart makes a little  _huff_  noise. “I can dance if I want to. I just don’t know  _that_  kind of dancing.”

“And you’re asking  _me_  to teach you.”

“Well,  _you_  know how to dance.”

Merlin’s face is buried in his hands; his shoulders are shaking. “Oh my god, it’s so weird when I’m better at something than you guys are.”

It could have been anyone, Bart thinks as he feels himself slowly going red. He could have gotten a crush on anyone. It could have been Eli! Eli’s cute. It could have been Cassie—his team’s Cassie, not the other Cassie, who is…not an option anymore. Or, or Jaime, or Kate, or Billy, or  _Tim,_ or one of the  _grown-ups,_  or in fact  _anyone_   _who isn’t in the room right now._  Anyone who doesn’t wear a purple hoodie all the time or freak out at the slightest thing or like to hug people and thus who Bart would, he is  _almost_  completely certain, have a much easier time resisting the urge to kiss. “W-well, do I know how to dance in the  _comics?_ ”

“I…” The other boy goes very still. Bart considers kissing him and then running to somewhere in the Himalayas where nobody can see him get embarassed. “I don’t  _think_  so…”

“Well, then,  _there._ ButanywayIneedtolearnhowtodance.”

“Ok, sure. I’ll teach you.” Merlin reaches over, grabs Bart’s right hand, and puts it on his  _waist._ “It’s a formal thing, right?” He rests his left hand on Bart’s shoulder and clasps their other hands together. He’s blushing too, although Bart isn’t sure if it’s the normal Merlin-blushes-all-the-time blushing or if it’s different  _new_  blushing. “We’ll start with waltzing.”


	19. Billy/Teddy (again)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> altheaknorka asked:  
> Billy/Teddy, 17 (tied up) pretty please?

Billy shifts, a little nervously. “It’s weird not  _seeing_ you.”

He hears Teddy laugh. “That can’t be the weirdest thing about this.”

"Well, no." The rope around is wrists is made of silk; the clerk at Babeland had  _winked_  at him when he bought it. “But I figured that the other stuff went without saying.”

"I do kind of have to point out that  _you_  suggested this. Just remember what we talked about. We talked about all this, remember?”

"Right, right. No magic, no glowing, no unexpected sparkles at moment of…uh…moment, I’m supposed to  _relax_  and let you take care of things this time, and if we need it the safe word is—oh my god I can’t say it. I’ll laugh.”

And he can’t see it, but he can  _feel_  Teddy smiling, and the fact that he’s so close but for the moment untouchable—but reachable, always there—makes him so  _tantalizing._  “Isn’t that the point? Come on, we’re supposed to be responsible sex-having adults here. What’s the safe word?”

Billy shakes with suppressed laughter, and he can feel the vibrations of Teddy’s own silent laughter through the bedpost his wrists are bound to. “The safe word is She-Hulk.”

He can’t help it. He starts laughing.

"That’s right!"

And Teddy’s fingers brush down his chest, and he gasps and  _stops_  laughing.

"Now relax."

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had fun reading! If you did, please let me know! ^_^


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